time for a talk [for st_eelflower]

[st_andup]

Raleigh needed fresh air to clear his head. That was all he could really think as he made his way to the roof of the hotel, scowling darkly to himself as he replayed the events of the day over and over in his mind. Some of it hadn't been so bad but there were things that happened that left him uneasy or even feeling guilty. Guilty for reasons he understood, some that he didn't and some that he didn't know what to think about.

Raking a hand through his hair, he moved to the edge and stopped as he looked down towards the ground. The height didn't bother him. If anything, he wanted to be higher. Higher and tucked away safely inside of a large robot where he could almost feel safe. Almost, as long as there weren't any kaijus around.

"At least it made sense." He muttered to himself, looking around for a place to sit before doing so on top of a gray box that hummed lightly under him. Then he sighed, staring out at the night.

Comments

[captaincorsair]

A shadow detached itself from the others that cloaked her presence and moved, on silent feet, to where he sat. She stopped while she was still out of reach and while the shadows still hid her bruised face and hands from his sight.

"Kissing a man I warned you is a predator doesn't make sense? What a surprise," came the bitingly dry voice from the shadows. "I don't wonder the kissing a version of your best friend's wife made much more. Or is there someone else you're talking about?"

The twist in her chest and sickness in her belly hadn't come from a fight with Rebekah, and she suspected she wasn't going to like what that meant.

[st_andup]

Raleigh seemed to sense her before he heard her, half turning in her direction when he heard her voice but the surprise was clear. He hadn't known it was her but his senses had merely told him someone was nearby. Looking at her, he almost wished he had known so he could prepare himself for the new wave of guilt washing over him.

It also made him tense that she would still be angry with him even when knowing he had no control. "I was actually thinking about how fighting kaijus was strange but made sense. More so than everything that has happened today."

Clenching his jaw, he looked away with a sigh. He should apologize but the words felt locked in his throat like bitter acid. Or maybe it was the memories of the whole day.

[captaincorsair]

Yasmeen fell silent, a wave of confusion taking her at the anger in his face and his tone. That made no sense at all. She bridled, first at his anger, then at herself for caring, and then at making this into some kind of bodice-ripping drama.

She stepped forward closer, so that he could see the bruising and scratches and said, "You're saying that to a woman who picked a fight with a vampire, because savaging her was easier than letting her kiss me."

[st_andup]

Being somewhat angry with her and the tone of her voice was easier than focusing inwards but he couldn't escape the fact that he was somewhat mad at himself. He knew that he hadn't been in control but that didn't ease how he felt guilty over things. Maybe not so much kissing the man but he felt troubled by kissing the wife of one of his best friends. It didn't matter that she wasn't the same version of the woman he had cared for as a friend. He still felt like he had betrayed Becker on some level.

He also felt like he had betrayed Yas somehow.

But hearing her make the comment that she had been in a fight with a vampire made him forget his troubles as he whirled around rather suddenly with a concerned look on his face. "What? Yas, are you okay?"

[captaincorsair]

That was the Raleigh she'd grown accustomed to. It eased her to hear the concern in his voice and took some of the bite out of her own. "Nothing a bath and a good night's rest won't heal," she answered almost offhandedly. The words didn't matter. They almost never did between them.

She found, abruptly, that she wanted to be touching him and all but hissed before she realized it wasn't an overwhelming compulsion. Just a desire, her own, and so she allowed herself to reach for him. Put a hand on his chest. "I needed to fight something I could hurt." Which wasn't him and never would be.

[st_andup]

Hearing that she needed something to fight wasn't unusual to hear since their arrival in this strange place where she was without her boat. He wasn't surprised to know that the events of the day had bothered her too and not just the bit where he had kissed other people. The fact that he had and that she had something to say about it was interesting, though.

"Did it help?" He asked, not moving despite her comment about needing a bath and a good night's rest. He wasn't going to assume that he could go with her.

[captaincorsair]

Had it helped? Yasmeen shook her head briefly. "No." Nothing helped with the feeling of being caged, manipulated, forced to do things that would be abhorrent to her. And the possibility she hadn't let herself fully acknowledge until this moment, here, where she was safe.

She curled her fingers where they were and held fast. "My bugs--" The nanites. "They're a variant of those the Horde used to control subject populations. One control function was to cause a mating heat. I thought they were here. That they found me."

[st_andup]

Raleigh frowned as he started to understand what was really bothering her about what had happened. At least, he figured that was the one and only important thing.

He took a small step closer but stopped again, knowing full well not to rush into her personal space when she was on edge. Especially about something like this. If she wanted physical contact, she would initiate it or let him know that it was okay. "I don't think it was. It was getting everyone."

He knew that wasn't much of a comfort since they didn't know what was going on but still. "It cleared rather quickly."

[captaincorsair]

She didn't want to be held, would fight like the cat she was if he tried, but she need touch, and so slipped her hand beneath the edge of his shirt to feel the warmth of his skin. "I know it wasn't. Now." But the thought of it, that she hadn't been willing to engage, that had been why she'd hit Rebekah.

"I forced myself on the blind man who cooks. He prefers men. I would kill a woman for doing the same to Scarsdale." Did he understand, could he, how much she hated this? "Snart is lucky I knew what was happening when I saw him with you. I know you prefer women. I would have killed him. Except it looked like you wanted him."

[st_andup]

"It kind of felt like I did." Raleigh cleared his throat, shifting his weight a little when she commented that it had looked like he wanted the other man when she saw them together. He looked down, his expression troubled as he thought about what had happened with Snart and then Steph later on.

He tried to brush it aside as he looked up at her again. "What happened with you and the blind man? Are you okay?" He wasn't really asking how far things had gone but he wanted to know in a way. He wanted to know if there would be consequences later on that he would need to protect her from. Not that she needed his protection but that wouldn't stop him.

[captaincorsair]

"When am I not?" Yasmeen demanded, voice tight and dry and wry. She shook off his concern like a dog shaking off water--which was how he ought to know it was all wrong. Yasmeen was no one's dog. "Ignis--" because that was his name. "Isn't the kind of man to cause a fuss over a kiss neither of us wanted."

She shrugged, a roll of her shoulders like a horse ditching its rider. And that, also, was wrong, because Yasmeen was no one's beast of burden, either. "I like him," she said, and that much had the ring of truth. "He'd make good crew."

She wasn't okay, but she was better with him, and she didn't like how that played in her mind at all. But true was true, so she added. "Not as good as you."

[st_andup]

Raleigh's lips pressed together briefly at her response and he wanted to point out to her that she didn't have to be false with him but that would likely just cause a further fight between them. Right now, he didn't feel like it since he was already on edge with his own conflicted emotions and what she was feeling.

"Good." He replied tightly, thinking then that he wouldn't have to go have a talk with this Ignis to make sure that he didn't cause Yas any more grief than she had gotten for the night. Then he paused before nodding slowly. "You never know, maybe he still will."

Then he offered a small smile at the added bit. "Thanks. I try." After that, he ran a hand through his hair as he turned to look over the hotel grounds. "I don't feel really good right now, though."

[captaincorsair]

Due in no small part to her temper, Yasmeen was sure. It hadn't been her intention to attack him with what she'd seen. She'd just been so... angry. At him, at them, at the hotel, at everything. And now that they were talking, her blood didn't boil anymore and the itch to hurt him had gone.

"Feelings lie," she said pointedly, and took several steps toward him. "I'm no good at talk, Raleigh. You know that. But you...are... necessary." Like breathing. Like her Lady. "Never doubt that, no matter what stupidity comes out of my mouth."

It was an apology, or at least as near to one as he had ever heard from her.

[st_andup]

"I don't think feelings lie. I think it's the head that actually does that." Raleigh countered softly, watching her as she closed the distance between them. He fell silent as she told him that he was necessary and he understood the weight behind her words. It wasn't easy for her to admit that she might need someone, just like it had been hard for him to do the same after losing Yancy. Finding Mako had started to change that and made it possible for him to be where he was now.

"Hey." His voice softened as he took a step closer. "I'm not going anywhere, Yas. That should be apparent by now considering we both ended up here. It doesn't matter what stupid things might come out of your mouth or how mad you get at me, I'm sticking around."

Then he paused for a second or two before smiling softly. "You are necessary to me too."

[captaincorsair]

"Don't go get sappy on me, hero." Yasmeen rapped him on the chest with her knuckles. But she stopped with her curled fist still pressed against him. She didn't collapse into his arms, or drop her head to his shoulder or do any of the stupid, soft things that women did in the worst novels she'd read. But she did, finally, step closer and press her open mouth to his.

After the day they'd both had, kissing should be the last thing she wanted, but she'd long known that it meant far more to him than it did to her. He hurt, she knew that, and she'd let him talk if he wanted, but in this minute, she needed to say things she didn't have words for, and if he'd let her, she'd prefer to do it this way, in warm, lingering kisses that had never been normal for her, but felt right with him.

[st_andup]

"Hey, there is no sappiness here." Raleigh held up his hands in mock surrender, not bothering to hide his amusement when she gave him a little rap for daring to echo her words. Maybe she didn't like being all sappy but he imagined the words probably soothed something in her. At least for a little bit.

He dropped his hands to her sides, letting them rest lightly just above the swell of her hips while he leaned down to kiss her back. Sure, he had spent the entire day kissing random people but kissing her was something he always wanted. It wasn't a trick or a game.

"Do you want to stay up here for a little longer or go somewhere else?" The kiss broke and he lifted his head slightly to look at her.

[captaincorsair]

"I want to feel the wind," she told him, and that did as near to summon tears as anything had in twenty years. She missed being with him on the deck of her ship, cool night breezes chasing his fingers and lips over her skin.

She stroked his jaw, fingers lingering over the the short hair of his neatly trimmed beard, a style he'd adopted toward the end of their time in Gotham. It made him look older, stronger, more the man who'd fought monsters and won than the puppy he often showed others. Both appealed to her. In truth, he always appealed to her.

"Roofs get crowded on nights like this." And the last person he needed to run into was Stephanie Brown. "My balcony?"

[st_andup]

Raleigh continued to understand the pain that she felt over losing her Lady because he had felt the same when separated from Gipsy. Truthfully, he felt like he missed the ship just as much as his Jaegar somedays. It had turned into a second home for him, especially on the nights when they could be alone and enjoying the night sky.

He leaned briefly into her touch, smiling a bit when she played with his facial hair. It had been a whim to grow it out at one time and he had decided to keep it after everyone seemed to approve of the new look. Now he just kept it trimmed so he didn't step over into shaggy lumberjack territory.

"Your balcony sounds great." He nodded, bringing a hand to brush his fingers against her cheek. "Maybe we can stay out until the sun rises?"

[captaincorsair]

"Stand first watch then sleep till mid-day?" Yasmeen suggested and slid her hand up from his abdomen to his chest, then kissed him again, with more tenderness than she usually showed him. "That sounds about right. By the time we strip down, you'll have had a chance to tell me everything running through you mind."

Smiling a little at his likely surprise at that, she hooked her fingers in his belt and tugged him along. "I'm not going soft, just taking care of my crew." More than that, and she knew it. Probably he knew it, and if he didn't she figured she'd get around to telling him sooner or letter.

[st_andup]

"I was mostly thinking that it would be nice to watch a sunrise but we can do the first watch too." He chuckled a little, moving his hand to cover hers when it came to a rest against his chest. The following kiss wasn't a surprise to him, not when they were alone up on the roof, but the tenderness did. Not that he minded but there was no way of hiding it either when he leaned back to look at her with a crooked little smile that said he didn't mind.

"I'm not going to complain." He remarked, thinking he liked it when she decided to take care of him. Then his grin grew when she tugged at his belt, urging him to follow along. Which he did without hesitation, of course.

[captaincorsair]

For the moment, Yasmeen ignored the crooked little smile and the thoughts she knew went with it. She merely dragged Raleigh behind her like a large, recalcitrant horse or dog (which reminded her, he hadn't mentioned the beast since he arrived)--except that Raleigh wasn't the slightest recalcitrant and instead followed her easily.

When they did finally reach her room, she let him in and followed after, only stopping to grab one of the mysteriously appearing bottles of water before leading him out to the balcony. Once there, she leaned up and sought his mouth yet again. No longer concerned that they might be interrupted, she wound her fingers into the back of his hair and her thigh around his hips, and claimed a kiss meant to last until the heat of it passed or he tired of it.

[st_andup]

Stepping into her room, he thought briefly about the fact that he was there more often than his own room these days but he brushed it aside without saying anything about it. He didn't want to make her feel weird by saying it out loud because he was sure that she knew.

Moving out onto the patio, he glanced over the view before turning to face her. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he drew her close until he followed the cue to lift her a bit when she wanted to wrap her legs around his hips. Then he sank further into the kiss, the fierce heat slowly gentling into something slower and warmer as he let feeling feed into it. Then she would know it was different than when he had kissed the other people.

[captaincorsair]

Raleigh kissing other people had all but departed her mind by the time they got to her room, but if she'd had any further thoughts about them, his kisses would have banished them. She knew better than to think Raleigh would ever be disloyal, and they didn't have any understandings of exclusivity.

But the longer he kissed her, his passion warm and sweet on her lips, the more it seemed maybe they should. No one else felt right under her anymore, and she didn't want anyone else over her. Quite without intending to, she'd linked their destinies, their lives, and their hearts, and...

As forthright as she was in everything, Yasmeen broke from the kiss, fingers still in his hair and said, "I don't want anyone else anymore."

[st_andup]

Raleigh had never really been the type to sleep around when he was involved with someone. It just wasn't in his nature and so, even back in Gotham, there hadn't been anyone else in his bed when she wasn't in it. Well, when he wasn't in hers.

Still, he had never placed any expectations on her or demanded that she follow suit. He had guessed that she had other lovers but he had never asked. They had never talked about being exclusive until...

There was no hiding the surprise on his face but he smiled curiously when he started to realize that she might be serious. "Really?"

[captaincorsair]

Yasmeen reached up to touch the curve of his smile and knew it had been the right thing. She nodded once and kissed him again, this time quiet, quick and soft. "It's what you want, isn't it?"

Yasmeen had no personal preference against monogamy, only against going soft for a man. Against giving up her freedom because of him. Raleigh had never asked anything of her, nor she of him, and yet it had happened anyway.

[st_andup]

"It is." He confirmed after leaning back from another kiss, his arms still resting comfortable around her while he watched her face. He tilted his head to the side, still smiling a little. "Am I allowed to ask what made you decide this? Have you been thinking about it for a little while?"

He almost made a joke about maybe kissing people earlier if he would have known the reaction it would get but it wasn't true. It wans't in his nature to do that kind of thing and he wasn't looking to get smacked right now either.

[captaincorsair]

His question didn't have an easy answer, and she didn't have the emotional distance to try wrapped around him like this. She nuzzled beneath his jaw and nipped softly before letting herself down and glancing at the two chairs beside a small drinks table. "Like as not, we'll end up watching sunrise from bed, but if we're going to talk about this, I'd rather sit."

Which she promptly did, but since the distance between where they stood and the chairs was short, she very uncharacteristically took his hand, laced their fingers together and drew him with her. She found, in spite of her desire for a little distance, she didn't want to let go of him.

[st_andup]

Raleigh could tell her that they didn't have to talk about this but it was probably one of those things that should be given even just a brief conversation considering how it would change things. Not that he expected it would change much but maybe that was just on his part. Maybe it was more of a grand gesture to her and he had a feeling that was the case.

Releasing her when she slid her feet to the ground, he nodded as she turned to lead him to the chairs. She caught him by surprise again when she reached for his hand and he let her take hold without a second thought, still watching and waiting for her to sit first before he would take his seat. "Okay, now we're sitting."

[captaincorsair]

Once he joined her, Yasmeen turned her chair so she was facing him and moved it close enough that their knees were interleaved. For a long while, she didn't say anything. These stories were old and their wounds scarred over; to speak of them was to slice at them, risk opening them again. She had told him parts of some, none of others, and, in truth, he knew her so well, she didn't know where her private past ended and their sharing began.

"When I was young and stupid, I got pregnant and fancied myself in love with a man who I thought loved me, but he loved my ship instead," she told him, voice low and painfully steady. "I told him about our child and invited him to stay with me. We celebrated our new life, he stabbed me through the womb, and I tore him to bloody chunks of meat.

"The bugs were killing me with fever, working so hard to repair me, and I threw myself in the sea to cool down. Eben--" She'd told him before about Eben, she knew. Eben and Ivy, Rhys and Mina. Scarsdale. "Fished me out and saved my life by taking both my neverborn daughter and my womb." It had been how they'd met.

"So, no," Yasmeen said quietly, gaze searching his face for any sign he understood. "I hadn't been thinking about it. I'd vowed never to go soft for a man again."

[st_andup]

Anticipating her movements, Raleigh shifted in his chair until he was facing her and moving to press their knees together in a sort of embrace. Leaning forward, he reached for her hands while resting his elbows on his knees and keeping his eyes on her face. They had talked about their pasts a bit, more him than her, but he had gathered something bad happened to her in the past. Something that had made her a little shy of relationships.

Listening to her now, he had a better understanding of why while his eyes darkened at the reveal of what had happened to her. He wanted badly to hurt the man who had hurt her despite the fact that she didn't need him to. He gave her hands a little squeeze while nodding at the mention of Eben, the look on his face letting her know that he understood things a little better now.

"I hadn't set out with the intention of making you soft for me, I hope you know that. I like how strong you are." He brushed his thumb over hers. "I hope you know I would never betray you like that."

[captaincorsair]

"I do." It surprised her to say it so plainly and without a hint of suspicion, but she did and she had never been in the habit of lying to him. She even managed a hint of a sharp little smile when she added, "If you had intentions at all, at the beginning, they were probably to make it out of my cabin alive."

Even then, she probably wouldn't have harmed him. He'd had no way of knowing it except gut level trust, which she'd noted, from the first, and honored it. Just like he'd honored her freedom of spirit and person, her strength, her authority...all without ever being less of a man.

And abruptly everything that had been hard became easy. "I didn't have to think about it. When I saw you with Snart, I knew." It hadn't been jealousy per se, but the realization that if she didn't let him in, someday he might well find someone else, someone who had the strength and the will to take him away from her.

"There are three things I need: my freedom, my Lady, and you."

[st_andup]

"Not at all." Raleigh chuckled again when she mentioned that his intention had been making it out alive and he shook his head a little at the statement. "I wasn't sure what I was expecting at first but the last thing on my mind was getting out of there. Trust me."

There was a brief shadow when she mentioned that seeing him with Snart had changed something but he nodded a little because he understood it. He didn't like knowing that he had caused her any sort of pain but he wouldn't beat himself up over something that he couldn't control either. He didn't think that she would beat him up either. Maybe Snart, later on, but he figured that he was because of some other issue.

"You have two of those things." He murmured, nodding with promise. "And I'll do anything I can to help you find the Lady."

[captaincorsair]

Yasmeen let him talk and when he'd finished, she leaned across their joined hands and sought his mouth for a kiss--as needful in that moment as breathing and perhaps more. She freed her hand to slide it through his hair when she broke the kiss and said, "I know, my heart. She's your home, too."

And then, that most important thing said, she said another, asked, "Take me to bed and love me, Raleigh. We can see the sunrise from there."

[st_andup]

Raleigh smirked, leaning across their hands to meet and return the kiss with the same need that she felt. Suddenly, he felt a little freer than he had before and all the negativity he had been wrestling with was melting away.

He didn't need to say anything in response then, deciding to let his actions speak for themselves when he stood and tugged her up into his arms. With a grin, he lifted her off her feet and encouraged with a slide of his hand to wrap her legs around his waist as he carried her to her bed where he planned to make love to her as often as he could before exhaustion would inevitably set in.